Justification of Sin-A Spiritual Death

20160917_202052-1-1When I ended last week I promised to continue and tell you about the next chapter in my life. However, the Holy Spirit has prompted me to share a more recent story. One that I had hoped I would not have to share! With this being said I still must state again before you give your heart away; make sure he or she is deserving of it and will treasure it. The best way to know this is if he or she is leading you closer to God! Someone out there needs to hear this story before it’s too late.

As I write this just know that it is very hard to do as I am still in the healing process! But God heals the broken-hearted and I know His plan for me is  amazing!

As you now know from past post I have struggled all  my life with sexual sin. I wanted someone to love me so badly that I mistook attention as love. The reality was most of the time I was just being used. But what I want to share today is about the past 4 years and how even a seasoned Christian can be deceived by satan. We make excuses and justify our actions and believe it to be true but in reality its not…..it’s  a spiritual battle that ends in spiritual death and  sometimes even physical death. Praise God for He rescued me!

From 2005 until 2010 I was married and never thought about seeing anyone else. I was working on my relationship with Christ after giving my life to Him in 2008. Still dealing with a lot of things physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. But in 2010 my last ex-husband and I separated, then in 2013  I was divorced for the third time. And at this time I  had started seeing someone. But you see I wasn’t being the Christian that I so wanted to think and wanted the world to think I was.  I had fallen for worldly desires to fulfill the desires of the flesh.  Once again I was back to my old habits and living a life unpleasing to God! This relationship last only a few months.

We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony! So here goes!!!

When this relationship ended, I found an old friend that I had know since a teen and we started dating. He went to church with me but he had no relationship with Christ. We actually got engaged but my life wasn’t where it needed to be as I was not getting closer to God, I was actually drifting away. I no longer had peace or joy within. Then with that $9,000 diamond sitting on my finger; Pastor preached a message and stated everything that glitters ain’t gold! Whew, that hit me like a ton of bricks! I knew that  my life was not pleasing to God. Fornication is not right! We can not live anyway that we want, we are to live Holy unto God! So I gave him back his ring and broke off the relationship.

Well a year later I joined a dating site and once again I ran across an old friend. He and I had actually hooked up many years ago in the past. We hit if off but then once again; I let my guard down and I was back in the same old mess.  Why couldn’t I keep myself pure and Holy unto God!! Another one bites the dust!

Each time I began to see someone, I always say I will keep myself pure and will help lead them to God. However, in reality what happened is I gave in to fornication and wasn’t leading them anywhere near God. The only movement was me moving away from God and totally destroying my walk and my witness for Christ.

I became more involved in street ministry with my friends  and with the FCA as my walk with God became strong again. But I have discovered that satan doesn’t like us living the right way and wants nothing more than to destroy us, even to the point of physical death.

Wanting my life right with God is so important to me! And being a Christian since 2008 I have had my share of ups and downs and disappoints within myself. I am not perfect and I miss the mark more than I care too! But I know God is real and I know what He has healed and delivered me from. Now it’s time to give this to Him because I am not taking this into 2017 with me!

Before I tell this, I want you to know that it is not ok to live together out-of-wedlock! It’s a spiritual battle and the caving to the desires of the flesh cause spiritual death and can cause physical death.

Last year I was to marry the guy that I was dating during my last divorce. You see our first date was the night after the blue moon and we said we were going to get married on the next blue moon. Not hearing from him in almost 2 years, out of the blue he messaged me on Facebook. This was about the same time we had said we would marry. We started dating again and after a few months we drifted apart for about a month. Once we decided to see each other again we took a trip. It was fun being together but was the start of a Spiritual death for me.

We started talking about marriage and trying to decide on a date. But we wanted a special moon or something. As we discussed this we also talked about him moving in with me and we actually looked at other houses. However, we decided it would be best to stay here and get a loan to pay of my home and some others debts. The plan was to move in after marriage.

My love for him was deep but I was in a spiritual battle. I allowed him to start staying nights and gradually he moved in. He had no relationship with Christ but attended church with me on occasion and I could see God was dealing with him. Unfortunately, he desired no relationship with Christ and I certainly wasn’t living as a good example. I justified premarital sex and him living with me because we were gonna get married. But this was so wrong! I couldn’t lead him to God by allowing unGodly things in our lives!

The battle was on full force – Good versus evil! I had fallen so far away from God that I didn’t think I could ever get back to Him! Over a period of months I could feel that my hope, joy and peace were gone! We didn’t discuss marriage anymore and we argued over stupid stuff. I wasn’t a good example for my daughter or anyone else and I most definitely could not give a testimony or be a witness to my FCA group.

In the spring, God used a sister at church to let me know that He loved me and had not forgotten me! That morning at the altar I asked God to help me, to give me a sign of hope because I was not wanting to live anymore. He used her to save my life that day!

Satan had clouded my view and deceived me into thinking that things I had been doing were ok. I was justifying my actions by the word but it was a distorted version, as I could not see clearly. We can win souls to Christ with love but not with lust!

My climb back to God was tough as I faced many giants along the way. I didn’t know how to straighten out the mess I was in. I then asked God for the courage of David to have the strength do the right thing. But satan attacked me even harder to the point I physically wanted to die even more so than before! I cried and cried and cried as I prayed for God to deliver me from the pain I was in. My choices got me where I was and unfortunately I wanted to die if this was how I was going to have to live!

We broke up, he moved out and I have since rededicated my life to God and serving Him!

Jesus came to save us from sin and the penalty of sin! He paid the price but we can not live anyway we want!

1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 {For this is the will of God, your santification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in santification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness.}

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 {Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.}

1 Corinthians 7:1-2 {Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.}

If you have accepted God in your life and have a personal relationship with Him; never think its ok to be sexually active or live together out of wedlock. This is spiritual death waiting to happen! I loved this man very much and satan knew it; therefore it was used to try to take me out! But if I had never of given in to the desires of the flesh, then perhaps he would be living for God and we would still be together today!

Never justify the wrong things. If it’s not leading you to God then it’s not right! I learned the hard way again as I stopped going to praise dance, intercessory prayer, etc. So you see even seasoned Christians fall off the wagon but Praise God I am back on it! Pray for me as I continue my walk with God and being a voice for Him!

God Loves You & So Do I!

Merry Christmas To You!! Much Love!

See you next week as we pick up from last weeks post.


5 thoughts on “Justification of Sin-A Spiritual Death”

  1. Love and prayers sweet lady! Every calling is different and is fulfilled with a price. It is also rewarding to be obedient. You will be blessed by your obedience.

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