As I sit on the beach typing this on my phone… one finger at a time; God is letting me see His beauty. Although the wind and waves are rough; the sun is brightly shinning. And as I look at the end of the pier I see a heart. He is all around me!
God loves us right in the middle of our storms. When the wind and waves feel like it’s too much to bear, that’s when He’s pushing us to that next level. Stay strong, stay focused for when the time is right; He will calm the raging sea in our lives. In the meantime we have to be like a surfer, have faith and trust God and just plunge into the waters and ride the waves of life and sometimes paddle our way through. God is right here cheering us on.
He reminded me of this today as I watched a young boy plunge into the ocean to surf. His fisherman dad stopped to watch him surf, took pictures and gave him a thumbs up! He was supporting and cheering his son on. And then when the young man was finished Daddy went to the vehicle and got his sons jacket and helped him put it on. Wow! Just like our Father to do the same for us, support us, cheer us on and wrap us in His love. The end result is awesome! Never let fear keep you from maturing spiritually. Keep on plunging in and soon you will reach the other side. Our Father has our back and is our biggest supporter. With His support; failure is not an option!
Psalm 107: 29-30 (NIV) 29 He stilled the storm to a whisper;
the waves of the sea[a] were hushed.
30 They were glad when it grew calm,
and he guided them to their desired haven.
Matthew 4:19 – 24 (NIV) 19 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” 20 At once they left their nets and followed him. Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, 22 and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.
23 Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people. 24 News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed; and he healed them.
At the age of 51, I have finally started to understand a lot of things in my life. Took me long enough to say the least, but I have been derailed all my life by satan. I know now that he tried to take me out all these times because God has such a huge plan to use me to build His kingdom.
Before my mama knew she was pregnant, she slipped and fell on some rocks at the beach. She started hurting so she went to the doctor and that is when he told her she was pregnant with me. Perhaps satan was trying to kill me before I was born; but God had me in His arms. Now fast forward to when I was about 10 years old, I had a huge lump in one of my breast. We were terribly afraid, but thank God we were in church at that time. Pastor Sadie Ball prayed for me and the lump went away; God healed me! During this same time I had a dream and I think it was before we found the lump. But in this dream; satan and his wife came to get me. He went to the front door of my parents home and said he wanted me. His wife was waiting in the yard. Talking about being scared; that was a nightmare! As I reflect now on that dream; I realize it was satan trying to take me out with whatever that lump was…. but God!
Now we will fast forward again to when Samantha was 2 years old and before we moved to Potters Hill. With Samantha’s dad bringing drugs into our home; he opened up a doorway for satan to totally move right in. With this being said, as I posted in a earlier post I attempted suicide; but the gun was on safety. I almost killed her dad; but Samantha screamed and got my attention. Every way I have looked it seems satan has tried to take me out of the game that God has placed me in. God has my back and has all my life; just took me a very long time to see all of this.
With the doorway open for demonic things in my home; it became a deep dark place. As I was sitting at the kitchen table one night writing out some bills; different lights in different areas of the house, one at the time sporadically started flickering. And I could hear doors opening and closing; however there was no one there but Samantha who was asleep and myself. I could feel a deep dark presence as if someone was looking over my shoulder, and a cold breath behind me. Terrified was an understatement! And until I spoke with some Christians about what was going on; I didn’t have a clue. But this was my first physical encounter with demonic spirits.
Evil was present in my home for some number of weeks and I was afraid to even close my eyes at night because the presence was so strong. Someone had told me to get rid of these evil spirits I would have to pray them out. So not even knowing what I was truly doing; I took Samantha to my parents, got my Bible and prayed before I went in my back door. Then with an open Bible, I walked throughout the entire house and prayed; commanding that evil to leave. After that my home felt like home again; however her dad and I never were able to make a go of our marriage.
Another fast forward to living in Potters Hill, a single mom, depressed, stressed, full of anxiety and fear of the unknown. I was dating a really good guy that played in my uncles band but something overtook me and I changed. I became bitter, controlling and manipulative, etc. I think perhaps out of fear of loosing people when you are full of deep rooted anger, you have a tendency to push people away. I know that is exactly what I did for years. Although I had prayed the evil out of my home previously it returned to a home within me and I became someone I didn’t like. This was not my last encounter with evil demonic spirits as you will see as you follow my testimony.
Matthew 12: 43-45 (NIV) 43 “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. 44 Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. 45 Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.”
Trust God for He will be with you through all the storms in life. He is your biggest cheerleader and supporter. As Pastor Jim says, “You can’t loose with the stuff we use”! In other words, if we use the weapons of warfare that God has given us, we will come out victorious. But we have to choose to do so everyday.
Psalm 46:10 (NIV) 10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
If I don’t sit still; I can’t hear from God so sometimes he removes us from the distractions and busyness so we can hear Him loud and clear! That’s what He did today for me. I so needed this reminder of how much He loves me. And I want to say thank you to the father and his son who are from Greensboro for allowing me to use the picture that I took. After approaching them I found out they are Christian too. How awesome that God sent me today to see this love between a father and his child; and for the reminder that there are other Christ followers in the world because we do sometimes feel so alone.
Join me next week when I return to the story of my life testimony, beginning with my life in Potters Hill.
Remember God Loves You and So Do I!