My Hearts Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, as I humbly come before you I thank you for coming to Earth as a human, dying on the cross a painful death and raising on the third day and sending our comforter the Holy Spirit. Father you said where two or more are gathered in your name and we ask according to your will it shall be done! So Father right now I ask that you embrace each and every person that is on my heart and every person that is hurting, sick , anxious, depressed, suicidal, lost, confused, in need, homeless, unloving, unlovable, bitter, angry, unforgiving, or resentful. Father I know it is your will that each of us come to know you as our personal Lord and Savior. And I know that you want to give us life and life more abundantly; and that you died on that cross to heal us from all sickness & disease and for our sins. So I ask Father that angels be petitioned to go and minister to every person that is in need of your touch right now. If they don’t know you as their Lord and Savior that tonight be the night that the Holy Spirit introduce them to Jesus, filling them with a peace and joy like they’ve never known.
Jesus, thank you for dying on the cross so that we might live. And I ask Holy Spirit to come and fill the voids in their heart, as they accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. Father thank you for salvation, healing, restoration, and reconciliation and thank you for the manifestation of all these things. In Jesus Name, Amen!

To God be all the glory, honor & praise, forever!

Much Love to you all,

Donna 

Sticks and Stones

Lately I have had a lot on my mind and been in prayer about things. But today God set me free from unforgiveness that I had been holding on to in which I didn’t realize I was. Satan will do anything and everything to kill, steal and destroy to take you out of the game. He will use the people or things that are dearest to you to cut your legs out from under you. However, I know who wins in the end; God does!

Ever since I was a child I’ve always heard the saying sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you. But I am here to tell you that this is a lie straight from the pit of Hell! Out of our mouth we speak blessings and curses; life or death, depending on what we say. And name calling, talking about others behind their back, critical comments, belittling, disrespectful speech, and throwing someone’s past up are definitely curses. And when doing this we speak death and destruction to that person. And before giving my life to God I was so guilty of these things and even after; until I gained wisdom.

We must be careful with our words and how we speak for not everyone is capable of letting things roll off. If we all could, that would be wonderful. But everyone is different and everyone has a different background and handle things totally different. Hurtful words when not released to God, will play over and over in a person’s mind. Often times we find that some traumatic event from a person’s childhood has left them scarred. And we can’t look at someone and tell what they have gone through. A person who appears to be strong could possibly be the person that needs an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, and someone to care enough to pray for and with them. I know, because I have been that person!

When you are hurt from rejection and critical comments, etc. there is such a deep pain that haunts you constantly. It’s like a reminder telling you that you aren’t good enough; leading to depression. And when you grow up feeling this way and go through one relationship after another and loosing friends who tell you that you aren’t rich enough, after a while you really believe that you are insignificant and unlovable. When your life from childhood through adulthood has been filled with so many negative and emotional happenings; there is a sense of inadequacy, feeling not good enough, and as if everything you do isn’t good enough. And believe me growing up this way was extremely hard. If I had not run from God all these years then my life would have been different, but praise God my life is different now!

Joyce Meyer has a book written called Battlefield of the Mind. That is exactly where the battle is and not in the heart. But the battle between the head and the heart is spiritual warfare. Depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts are straight from Hell and without God we don’t know how to overcome them. And sometimes it gets to the point where you just want to run away or give up. Satan is the one who gives us these thoughts; it’s his way of trying to take us out because he knows God has a huge plan for our lives. It’s been 18 years since someone near and dear to me decided they couldn’t take anymore. I don’t know what was going on but I do know that I too had been down that road of thinking life would be better for everyone if I were just out of the way. But the truth is, everyone isn’t better for they are left dealing with the pain and heartache of loosing someone they love. Unfortunately as the suicidal person; you don’t feel loved because your mind has become so clouded you can’t see straight! God tells us that we can have victory in Him. If the thought doesn’t line up with the Word of God, then reject it and believe and think only on what God’s Word says.

****2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (KJV) For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

The gathering together of the saints is to uplift, encourage and to pray for one another. Not everyone has family that encourages and prays for them. It’s extremely important to stay plugged into a body of believers as we all need one another on this journey. Life can become extremely difficult at times and what I have realized is that Satan wants us to give up, walk away and be desolate; giving him an advantage. If he can separate us from the saints then who will speak life into us?

****Ephesians 6:18 (MSG) In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

Intercessory prayer is extremely important! And we must keep check on our brothers and sisters for 1Peter 5:8 tells us that we must be alert and of sober mind. Our enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Let us as families and church families be someone that others can come to feeling acceptance and love. We all need someone, but I am here to tell you that a person with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts need your prayers desperately. I know for I have been in those shoes and without the prayers of my Pastors and my daughter I wouldn’t be alive today. It could be your love and prayers that set things in motion for true freedom as was in my case.

If you happen to be thinking right now; perhaps I have been that person that has been critical, judgmental, or perhaps thrown someone’s past in their face just ask for forgiveness from them and our Father. This life is too short to walk around making others feel unworthy. Perhaps the journey of life for that person has put them into that place where they are at a breaking point. Would you want to think that your comment could have possibly been the straw that broke the camels back? When satan has us bound; it’s difficult to see a way out when you keep getting pounded. Speak life to this person and not death. Pray for others instead of talking about them or judging them. And if they come into the church dressed inappropriately; then at least they are in the church and God will deal with everything else! Don’t reject them for they may never want to set foot in church again or have anything to do with God! Would you want to have their blood on your hands? We are all called into the ministry, not to just sit in church. We are to win souls for God’s Kingdom, not push them away.

When people are down right rude, disrespectful, throwing up things &people from our past, belittling us or even talking about us behind our back; we are to forgive them! Holding on to the bitterness, hurt, hate and pain only harms us and steals our joy; sometimes leading us into that depression, anxiety and into those suicidal thoughts. And we must remember its not the person but what is inside that is causing them to do these things. But to have life and life more abundantly; what we have to do is forgive them, pray for a heart change for you and them and have faith in God for He will work all things to the good of those that love Him. Faith makes all things possible; although not easy! Forgiveness is a choice! If we don’t forgive; then our Father can’t forgive us.

Pastor Jim has shared with us several times a poem by Pastor Roys Hicks, Sr..”There are two natures within my breast, One is cursed and one is blessed. One I love, and one I hate. The one I feed will dominate. This is so true as the battle of the spirits rage within us. We have the choice to be our old self or the new creation with Christ. Although our flesh is under our feet; the war of the spirits rage. And if we aren’t careful the flesh will rise at an impromptu time. Will you allow God to move and use you to speak life into those around you and into those who are hurting and running from Him? Everyone needs someone in their corner and I thank God that He blessed me with my spiritual family!

If you are hurting today and need someone to pray with you, please comment with your contact information and I will contact you. I know what it feels like to feel all alone, unworthy, rejected and unloved; as we can feel this even in the midst of a crowd. You don’t have to walk around feeling unwanted and unloved. I love you but God loves you more and desires for you to have life more abundantly and with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! And He makes beauty from our ashes!!

****Matthew 11:28-30“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

To God Be All the Glory, Honor & Praise, Forever, Amen!

Much Love to You All!

Donna 

The End of a Journey But the Beginning of Life

When I ended the story a few weeks ago I told you that Samantha and I had moved into our present home after leaving my now ex-husband. I was a mixed bag of emotions from being mad, sad, hurt, depressed, confused, to angry. Crushed because everything had happened like it did as I had so hoped for our marriage to work out and finally have a big family. But things didn’t quite work out that way. As I look back now, I’m not sure if I was more upset over the separation and moving or the fact that I didn’t have control over everything. One thing for sure was I felt like a complete failure as I was heading for divorce number 3.

When we moved I was already working with the school system and going to college part time. I had to give up college because it was just too much on me at that time. But it was during Thanksgiving break our home was almost ready and I told Samantha to get some of her clothes and we would spend the night at our new place. I wasn’t ready to move yet because some things still needed to be completed and I figured if we moved in it would never get done. But when we got to our now home I realized she had brought every piece of clothing she owned! When I asked her why, she simply stated she wanted to get out and didn’t want to go back because she was tired of the way things had been. Unfortunately our kids are the ones who suffer the most when we make those selfish and irresponsible decisions and behave irrationally.

He helped us get settled in and moved the items that I had purchased and stored in the outbuilding for me. I didn’t take anything from the home except Samantha’s bedroom suite as I wanted to make sure he had everything that he needed to have a furnished home. Because when I met him; his apartment was bare and regardless of what had happened, I didn’t have the heart to clean him out. I did love him and wanted him to have everything that he needed. He helped us financially for quite some time and still helps in little ways that he can for he said he would always help Samantha any way possible. But I was so upset that I had to leave my beautiful home I had worked so hard in and not to mention my huge kitchen. For the one I have now is almost too small to change your mind in, but praise God, I have a home.

After just a couple of weeks here at our new place; I remember Samantha telling me that our old single wide mobile home felt like home and that she missed it. Then she said that our other house we had just left never felt like home and that our new place felt more like home than that house ever did. She was absolutely right! As much as I loved that house it never felt like home to me either; it was a place to stay and a roof over our heads. Marriage was short lived with all the trouble we had with my sickness and attitude, jealousy of kids and everything else that went on. As I stated in an earlier post; I wasn’t ready to be married and I never should have married him. It wasn’t the right time and it definitely wasn’t fair to him or either of our girls! But praise God we are still friends. There was definitely healing that needed to take place within me before I ever said I Do! And I needed to know the true meaning of love and what marriage is all about.

Two years passed before I even considered dating anyone. Just before our divorce was final I started seeing someone. However I shouldn’t have until my divorce was final because when you are still married by law you are still married in Gods eyes; therefore I was committing adultery. Even though the divorce was almost final and I was seeing someone; I just found it hard to let go of my husband. I remember continuously asking him, are you sure this is what you want; can’t we seek counseling and work it out! Of course he was done and wanted no part of trying to salvage the marriage. I think deep down I was hoping that the time apart would cause him to miss me and want me. But I know now that it was that longing to have someone and be married and not have divorce number three take place.

I wasn’t sure if I was upset over divorcing him or the fact that it was going to be divorce number three for me. However I felt like a complete failure and that I would never have a marriage work. And you know what?…. with that type of attitude and stinking thinking, I most definitely can’t! But God moves mountains and heals emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually when we allow Him to do so. Once we completely accept Him and surrender, then He is able to make beauty from our ashes. However, at this point I wasn’t quite there yet!

This entire time I was going to church and working on my relationship with God and many miracles had taken place in my life but I still had a ways to go. God has truly had his hands full molding and shaping me! But jumping into a dating relationship at this time was detrimental to my walk. For I strayed and not only was I committing adultery, but fornication too! And oh how the struggle between the spirits was completely overwhelming! The relationship with this guy got really nasty and only lasted a few months but then I turned right around and jumped into dating an old friend. He’s the one that had given me the expensive engagement ring that I gave back and I told you about this in an earlier post. Then a year later I ran into a dear precious old friend and we dated for only a short while. But although I was divorced and had been for 2 years he felt like he was being compared to my ex because of things I said. I never meant for it to come out that way. I guess I just had to have healing in my entire being before I could move forward in my life. I have since learned that there is no man on this earth that can make me happy or love me like my Father! Happiness comes from within, no person, all the money in the world nor anything can make you happy….but a personal relationship with the Father is what it takes!

***** 1 Corinthians 6:18 -20-Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, who you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

I’ve realized that you can’t move on until your heart is completely healed. Perhaps after two years of separation you would think you would be healed but when you have extremely deep pain from childhood on up, it takes a while to allow God to heal all those scars and create within you a new, tender and loving heart. God knew my heart and He knew that no marriage would ever work out for me until I was completely healed from the inside-out from every single thing that had hurt me in my past.

During the past seven years God has healed me from all my deep rooted anger, jealousy, rage, bitterness, hatred, spitefulness, envy, selfishness, a controlling spirit, hatefulness, all sickness & diseases, heartache, depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. He has created in me a new heart and has given me life. Not to say that satan, who is out to steal, kill and destroy doesn’t prowl around trying to convince me otherwise; but I know who I am. I am the daughter of the King, the most High God who has turned my mourning into dancing and turned my sorrow into joy!

God is still molding and shaping me, as I am not perfect and will not be until He calls me home to be with Him. But when I fall; I am quick to repent and I get back up brush myself off and go again. I do not want to do anything to displease my Father but to do everything so that He may receive all the glory, honor and praise. My life didn’t change overnight after accepting God as my Savior and yes I stepped out of His will more times than I care to admit. But He never let me go! Praise God!!!

Being healed & delivered from smoking, addiction to prescription drugs and not tithing properly during the Health & Wealth Conference when Jeremy Laborde prayed with me was an eye-opening experience. I will tell you more about this soon and about the physical touch I received from God while praising Him at the alter one Sunday morning! Oh WOW, was that awesome! From cleaning the church, working in the nursery, helping with VBS, dancing on the praise team, doing skits for the Women’s Conference, and praising & worshipping Him freely; every day I love Him more and more. And I know He has huge plans for me!

*****Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Join me next week as I tell you a little more of my story and my walk to true love as God continues to mold & shape me!

To God be all the Glory, Honor & Praise Forevermore!

Much Love to you All,

Donna