When God asked me to start writing this blog almost 2 years ago; I was very hesitant. Afraid to share the deepest and darkest truths of my life, but trusting God I proceeded. This wasn’t something I wanted to do, but God needed me to do so that not only would I heal, but help others. Believe me reliving secrets that I had chosen to forget not only hurt me but gets me lots of stares and talking behind my back. This bothered me at first but then I realized that being obedient to God was more important and I was receiving healing.
Through it all I finally realized I am more than what the world says I am, more than my past, more than just that shy-scared little girl, more than my bad choices, and more than who I had settled to be. My past doesn’t’ define who I am! However, the enemy will continually try to place you in the past by any means he can. His schemes are unrelenting but with God all things are possible; even standing for what is right when it means standing alone.
One thing for sure is that Gods love is relentless! He never leaves us or forsakes us; even when it feels like He has. I remind myself often that it’s when the teacher is silent that I am being tested. One awesome thing about test is when we pass one; we can move onto the next and not repeat that one again. Strength has definitely come from obedience and although I don’t understand this world sometimes, God carries me through always!
When I said the enemy will remind us of our past; here is an example:
I was recently asked out by someone who I had seen but I didn’t know him. At first he was saying all the right things through messages but after just 2 conversations by phone and carefully paying attention to the words (the fruit) that came out of his mouth, I realized that perhaps this nice Christian man wasn’t walking with God as close as I desire. I have asked God to guide me in dating for I don’t want to date just anyone. I don’t know about men but for a woman, heart connections are made when they start spending time with a man. And I don’t want heart connections made that are not of God. I want to save my heart for my husband; therefore I have to ask the Holy Spirit for direction for I want to make right choices. Sometimes our fleshly nature wants to fight but thank God I listened this time.
***Galatians 5:17(NIV) For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.
Being upfront and honest I told this man that my walk with God is the most important relationship that I will ever have. Then I proceeded to tell him that I don’t drink, don’t’ smoke, don’t spend nights, and that I don’t lay down and snuggle or have sex until I am married to the man. His response was “I hope you understand. I want someone affectionate like me.!” Well I got my answer and I completely understand. He was more interested in my body than my heart! Thank God I was obedient and bold enough to stand up for what is right!
Truth is I am very affectionate person but will only be that affectionate with my husband. Now the old me made lots of bad choices and snuggled just a little too quickly; but praise God I am not who I use to be! At that moment is when I realized that this man was either a trap of the enemy to set me up for failure or a test from God on obedience. However my love for God is greater than the desires of my flesh. Oh how I long for a husband but I want the right one (the man God has hand picked for me). As of now my one true love is God and as I dance with Him, he will allow the right one to cut in at the right time.
***Romans 8:5(NIV)Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.
***1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV) Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
As painstakingly tough as it may be to do the right thing, it is so worth it in the end. For settling for Mr. or Mrs. Wrong only brings heartache and boy do I know all about that! And when loneliness strikes us and the desire hits to have a person in the natural to love and hold us we might be apt to settle. But don’t! If physical is all we or they desire then that is exactly what will have to keep your relationship together; that is not true love. At my older age I have realized that what feels good right now may not make you feel good later. I want someone who loves me for my heart and not my body. We must control our flesh or it will control us and put us on a spiritual, physical, emotional and mental path of destruction.
***James 4:7 (NIV) Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
***Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Ladies and gentlemen guard your heart above all else, for out of it flows life! Be watchful and ask God to guide you for the enemy seeks to kill, steal and destroy. Everyone who asks you out may not be good for you – test the spirits and be upfront. If you have a personal relationship with God then honor Him as your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Pray and ask God to prepare you and your future spouse for one another. Until then dance with God for He is our one true love that will never leave us. Wait for the one that loves you too much to disrespect you and your body, wait for the one who loves God first and more than he/she will ever love you. Wait for the one who will pray with and for you; wait for the one who leads you closer to God! It is so worth the wait to have the marriage you have dreamed of and a marriage made in Heaven!
To God Be All the Glory, Honor & Praise!
Much Love to You All!
Your Waiting Sister in Christ,
***1 John 4:1-6