The ocean is choppy as the high tide slowly washes ashore. And as I sit here talking with God; I am reminded that life is much the same way. Not smooth and things that we desire seem to come slowly. God has reminded me too that as it is a process for the ocean tide to change; it’s a process for our lives also. As a Christian, our growth and maturity come slowly; for we do not become mature over night in life and we defiantly can’t become a mature Christian overnight either. It’s an ever-growing relationship as we dive into the Word, die to the flesh, spend time in prayer and getting to know the Father more intimately each day.
Accepting Christ as my Lord and Savior in January 2008; I hadn’t a clue as to how I was suppose to act, behave or even what to do as a Christian. And believe me; I got a lot of things wrong. When I accepted Christ, He deposited seed into me for the calling He has placed upon my life. However, it has been up to me to nurture those seeds so that the calling grows thus bringing a harvest. Slowly we are getting there as there have been set backs and complete wipe outs in my walk. And each time, I asked God to forgive me and I too have had to ask others to forgive me because I was surfing this Christian walk all wrong. I was guilty of using Bible verses to show others they were wrong, I was judgmental, prideful, arrogant, disobedient, controlling, angry, hateful, unthankful, unholy, lustful, selfish and self-centered. These things just don’t change overnight. God changes us but we have to want it and be willing to receive correction.
The enemy will remind us of our past even through our senses; I call these triggers because it sets you back to a particular place or person from the past. He uses these to try and throw us off our Christian walk by speaking to our flesh. It’s a constant battle between the spirit and the flesh and I failed more times than I want to admit. But I have learned when you wipe out; get back up and ride again.
***2 Timothy 3:2 (KJV) For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy.
*** Ephesians 4:19 (NIV)They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.
***Colossians 1:21 (NIV) Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior.
Fast forward to now; as I look back over the past 10 years, it’s been a choppy ride. However, I have learned many things from life lessons and the wisdom and knowledge that have been deposited into me through the highs and the lows. As I dig deeper into the things of God, nuggets of wisdom are placed into my spirit. God is cheering me on for He is my biggest cheerleader. He wants us all to succeed in our walk with Him and in life. Whereas satan wants us to fail at everything and completely wipe out and stay down. Sometimes it feels like for every step forward we get knocked back three, but we are winners through Christ. We only loose when we give up!
I have realized that our greatest sermons come from our life experiences; thus using our own testimony. As this is the life that we lived so what better way to help someone who is going through than to have experienced it for ourselves. Not that we are proud of our past; but being an overcomer we are able to help others overcome the same. Not to be prideful but to witness in humility from the lessons learned the hard way, as we now live a life for God completely changed with evidence seen in our daily lives.
I want to please God in all that I do, say, think, etc. and I pray daily that He never takes the Holy Spirit from me. Ten years ago I didn’t even realize that the Holy Spirit would even reside within me, but now I can’t imagine a life with out Him! Over the last decade there have been many trials and tribulations; some that were major set backs as I turned from God to live in the flesh. It’s a daily battle to overcome fleshly desires and no one is immune; but the Holy Spirits guidance, makes it possible.
I can’t say that every fleshly desire is conquered as of yet; as I am reminded daily of my past, what I lost, what I don’t have and that I am alone (meaning no husband or companion). Our Heavenly Father will give us the desires of our heart, just to show us that perhaps that is not what we truly want. But you know… I am good with alone as I grow and dance with God. For I know at the appointed time regardless of how slow it may seem to me the Father will allow my husband to cut in. It’s my place to seek God above any other relationship, for God is a jealous God and wants us to desire to be with Him more than any other. And although I desire to be married with a large family; my greatest desire is to continue dancing with God and being used to glorify Him with everything I do. Just as it is with the ever-changing tide of the ocean, so has been my walk with God but praise the Lord I am changing and maturing every day. Maturity in Christ takes time….time in the Word, time in prayer and time alone with the Father desiring His Best for Us!
Keep on surfing as the tides in life change and if you wipe out; get back up, repent and ride again!
To God Be All the Glory, Honor & Praise!
Love to You All,